Sue arrived for the first session as we agreed.
1. Session One: Awareness & Assessment
The coaching plan for the first session is to create awareness and delve deeper into her anxiety challenge. Although we had established a trust relationship, it was also necessary to deepen it and explain and introduce the mBIT concepts and process.
The session started with requesting feedback regarding her “homework” i.e. considering possible changes in her daily routine. Sue provided her perspective regarding possible changes but wasn’t sure whether her ideas would gain traction in the family. Foremost was to assign specific responsibilities to her husband and children. (We agreed that this perspective will be discussed in a later session. Sue acknowledged that this exercise was valuable in as far as it contributed to the creation of more clarity.)
I explained the roles of the three centres of intelligence, i.e. thinking (head brain), feeling (heart brain) brain, and action (gut brain), highlighting signs of misalignment (e.g., overthinking, but emotionally disconnected and in-action.)
I checked with SU whether she would be comfortable keeping her eyes closed during the session.
Using active listening techniques (e.g. mirroring, summarising).
I Requested Sue to respond to the following questions while I observed body posture and hand movements.
This technique provides for a mBIT baseline Assessment:
Piet: “Let us start with assessing the possible misalignment between the three brains. This process might initially feel uncomfortable and might create some uncertainty. However, answer the questions honestly and try not to hold back thoughts or feelings. Breathe deeply and and relax. Remember, you are not being judged. You are Sue and unique in your own right.
“What is your heart feeling right now?”
(Your heart’s primary concern is with relations, values, and emotions.)
(I will not quote Sue’s response – for obvious reasons)
It was clear that Sue was emotionally disconnected, not only with herself but also with her family and socially. This could be construed as “alienation” in all spheres of her life.)
At this stage, I deemed it necessary to request Sue to reconnect with her values and restore emotional resilience.
I asked Sue if she was prepared to explore her feeling of alienation by answering the following question: “How do you evaluate yourself from an emotional perspective, can you accept yourself as Sue, despite the anxiety that you experience?”
This seemed to be a difficult question for Sue; however, after a long silence, there seemed to be a breakthrough, which was indicated by a heavy sigh, a hesitant but tearful response, dropping her shoulders.
“Sue, can you express in your own words that you value yourself and that you accept yourself as Sue. Say a few kind words to Sue that will acknowledge your worth as a unique person, a caring and compassionate wife and mother.”
(Sue’s response is not repeated for obvious reasons)
At this stage, Sue opened her eyes. I realised that Sue had reached the endurance limit for this session. I applauded Sue for her courage, and we ended the session with a deep breathing exercise.
In conclusion, I requested Sue to continue with her journaling and daily breathing exercises. The “homework” Sue had to complete was to make entries in her journal regarding her achievements and how she valued herself by describing how she added value to herself by acknowledging her uniqueness as a person. and how she added value to her marriage and family life in general.
We confirmed a follow-up appointment with the express intention to explore the voice of her ”gut brain”.
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